When I was 13 years old, I came out to my parents as bisexual. They responded with the open-mindedness one would expect of lifelong liberals, accepting me without hesitation. A year later, at 14, I declared that I was not a boy, but really a girl trapped in a boy's body. I demanded access to cross sex-hormones and that they use my chosen name and pronouns. While at school my transgender identity was tolerated—and often affirmed—at home, my parents refused to affirm me. My father put his foot down and prevented me from medically transitioning. While at the time I resented him for it, today as a 20-year-old man, I am grateful.
In 9th grade, I was introduced to the “Gender Unicorn,” a colorful graphic which presents gender identity as a spectrum separate from biological sex. I also received encouragement from older girls in the school's Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) and my therapist at Boston Children's Hospital in declaring my trans identity. After my parents' negative reaction, it became clear that if I were to transition at all, I would have to hide it from them. I was aided in this pursuit by my classmates, while my teachers stood by and watched.
I was the first boy in my high school of around 150 students to identify as trans. After I “came out” as trans in my freshman year, two other boys out of 18 in my class ended up identifying as trans in their junior and senior years.
I had switched schools in 9th grade for a number of reasons, not the least of which was to escape relentless homophobic bulling. Upon arriving at my new school, I looked to try to make sense of my experiences in middle school. This led me to join the school's GSA—I figured that if I was going to make sense of my experiences in middle school, the GSA was a good place to start. In the first meeting, I realized that I was the youngest in the room and the only boy—it was me and a handful of older girls.
One of the girls in the GSA took a particular liking to me, and took me on as a project. She
taught me about different sorts of birth control, “queer” identities, and gender ideology. I, a 14-year-old boy who hadn't had a first kiss, let alone a girlfriend, found myself in awe—and perhaps a little scared—in her presence. She was confident, attractive, and smart, three traits I was unsure if I possessed, so she became a role model for me.
One of the regular activities in GSA meetings was watching and discussing videos by the trans YouTuber “Contrapoints.” This is how I learned about gender dysphoria. I decided that not only was I suffering from it, but that there was a clear solution: social and medical transition. I resolved to “come out” to the GSA as trans. Of course, they immediately affirmed me, saying things along the lines of “we're so proud of you, you're so brave”—deeply enticing for an insecure boy struggling with mental health issues.
It was only when I went to college in the fall following the start of the COVID-19 pandemic that I socially transitioned to living as a woman. I soon discovered that the promised land was not all milk and honey. This discovery was the beginning of the end, and about a year later, I desisted (stopped identifying as trans).
My real problems were that I was an undiagnosed autistic and struggling with mental health issues, my identity, and the impact of years of bullying. Instead of accepting me for who I actually was, my classmates affirmed my trans delusion, while my teachers watched. Looking back, this was more insidious than what I had experienced in middle school: it was the weaponization of empathy which was poisoning me—with my consent.
If not for the predominance of gender ideology in my 9th grade health class, the trans and “queer” takeover of the GSA, and the complicity of my teachers, perhaps I would have never have lost three years of my life to trans delusion. I've learned that I'm one of the lucky ones: I never suffered the hormonal or surgical protocols that some of the other boys from my school did, thanks in large part to my father’s persistence.
As more data and stories come out about desisters (those who were once trans and did not
medicalize) and detransitioners (those who were once trans and did medicalize), it is becoming ever more apparent that schools are failing our families. Schools should keep kids safe from dangerous ideologies, especially those ideologies which encourage kids to withhold critical information from their parents and undergo irreversible medical procedures. My high school failed me, my classmates, and our families.
Gender ideology has infected our schools and needs to be rooted out utterly and completely. Parents need to be informed when their child identifies as trans and be able to remove their kids from gender lessons in school until this ideology is gutted from schools completely. We need parents, teachers, desisters, and detransitioners to speak up about their experiences. Parents need to educate themselves, go to school board meetings, and meet with their representatives and senators.
Organize, write, and speak boldly—especially when no one else will.
NPS parents: Contact your child's principal about policy IHAM-R to opt your child out of biased and controversial gender lessons and to voice your concerns about unsafe gender procedures that direct school staff to hide your child's chosen gender identity from you.
Will you also forward this email to other concerned Natick parents with children in Natick Public Schools to sign up to receive our weekly emails?
留言